Starrett 1

          Emma Starrett

Mrs. Belden

Honors English 1

October 7, 2014                                                                                     

                                        Our Love Story

As I looked my Fiancée in the eye, it made me think of our story all over again. He had found me in at the worst period of my life. He had been the one who saved my life and I had fallen head over heels in love with him.  Our love story was a story that you believed only happens in movies and the kind you would have dreams about. It all started my sophomore year.  I had just moved to the Big Apple, I recently lived in a small town in Georgia. That year was the worst year of my life my dad just left my mom, sister and I for his Barbie doll girlfriend. I was stuck leaving all my friends behind and starting a new life.  My sister and my mom were all I had left.  I left my small town life, a place in which everyone know your name, was a big family and everything was slow moving to a life in which in skyscrapers towered over me, everyone scurried to get to where they needed to be, and a place that never stopped moving. Everyone was too busy to say a simple hi or flash a simple smile. All these changes happening so fast that I had an extremely hard time adjusting I wasn't exactly what you would call popular- I was actually anything but that.

 I still remember going into my new high school on the first day. It was extremely scary and the school was bigger than the whole state of Texas.  Everyone had already had their cliques so I became known as just, Alyssa, the girl who was too timid to talk and always had her face in a book.  Not having any friends became so hard, and my home life was getting much worse. My mom was struggling to pay rent so she was working all the time which lead me to become my sisters caretaker I was in charge of doing her homework,making her dinner, and all the stuff that normally kids take for granted.  Since taking care of her was my job I couldn’t get involved in after school activities.  

All the stress and loneliness I had developed lead to depressions which soon lead to self-harm. I started cutting myself.  I promised myself for the sake of my family that I only would cut just to see how it felt, to see how it made me feel, but, it became an addiction. An addiction no one could understand they thought it was easy to stop. I was crying for help. No one would reach out.  How could my life just change so fast? To think a year ago I was with my friends my dad was still with us, I still will never understand why he left us.  Where we not good enough for him?

 Eventually things got worse. My grades dropped and I was failing half my classes. I was going down a dark path and my cutting became frequent.  I would constantly think of ending my life,   but there was a voice inside me saying keep on fighting for the sake of your family.  I could never sleep because of my depression and anxiety. I had changed so much in that year. I had gone to such a bright happy positive girl, to a deep dark depressed teen.  To be honest, I hated who I had become.  If someone, anyone, would just give me a chance that was all I needed.  I was an ant in a big city trying to stay alive, trying to survive. was I really that bad?  Why would no one even say hi or give me a simple smile?

 One day at school I was eating my lunch alone- just like always I still remember this day so vividly because it left scars in my heart.  One of the popular foot players walked up to me and asked me if I would give him my number.  Of course, I said yes, thinking they finally noticed me, but then I saw all the boys laughing hysterically.  It was all a joke! how could I have been so stupid? It was a stupid dare!  I left the lunch room crying. I felt so worthless I was planning on ending my life that day.  As I was walking home crying, I felt a hand wrap around my shoulder. Thinking it was just another football player I swatted it off.  It was not, in fact, it was a rather tall lanky teenager who ironically I was going to fall in love with.  He told me that he saw what happened at lunch and it was uncool. He called me beautiful and said he would love to take me on a date.  He made me feel so special and loved he didn't realize it and he didn't know until we got closer,but that day he saved my life.